The Final Day

I have not posted any updates for quite a few days because I had no idea about what I should write. There wasn't anything new happening in my life or my bank account.. Still jobless, broke and hopeless..

I Will Always Love You!

It's 12:09 am, 16th January 2012.. Today is the final day.. My wife has an appointment at the court today where she will be taking the oath before proceeding with the Trial on our Divorce.. And most probably, today will be the start of the end of my life..
I know that a divorce trial can take anywhere between 1 to 3 months.. But I do not have any hopes of my case taking that long, since I am not in Singapore to defend my case.. My wife messaged me that she loves me today.. But she isn't prepared to hold on... She simply asked me to marry her again when I am capable again..
You might think that it is simple.. But how am I supposed to recover from the pain that I will be getting? If life was that simple, nobody would be unhappy..

People decide to give a million dollars to a guy who doesn't even need it, who is asking for money just for the fun of it and has no plans on how he is going to use it.. But here I am, doing the same, but for a cause and with a sound plan on how I will be using it and willing to repay the loan with interest.. And nobody is interested... :(

The world works in a funny way!

This might well be my last update.. ( Don't know yet ).. I am not sure if I want to continue writing here, since the purpose of me creating this blog was not fulfilled.. Only time will tell...

Daily Update (11)

A long time back..... Seeing my son wanting to walk independently made me feel proud.... They grow up so fast... And you are only left with the memories...

It's 11th January 2012, 1:35 am.. About 3 weeks since I started this blog.. And 11 days into my New Year's resolution of accumulating a million dollars in 16 days! And with only 5 more days to go, I am still running on only $0.54! (You might be laughing)

Anyways.. The more I think of it, the more it depresses me.. So I rather not talk about it..
Today didn't really go well.. Me and my wife were busy quarreling on Facebook! Every time she says she doesn't want me, it pisses me off! But my anger is only the result of my frustration and the pain of getting hurt when she says it.. I know that she doesn't mean it and she loves me a lot too.. But I don't understand why she can't understand my situation..
Let me explain.. About 4 and a half years back, I had to drop out of college, mid way through my Degree course, because she was pregnant and we weren't married yet.. So I decided to take my responsibility and marry her and started working... Now, the employment law of Singapore requires foreigners in semi-skilled class to have a Degree to be eligible to apply for employment.. (They changed the regulations in 2010, when I had lost my job due the same)  And since I don't have a Degree and only 2 years of experience in a non-Managerial post, almost all the companies that I apply to either don't reply or reject me.. So what am I supposed to do? What I sacrificed then for my family, is killing me now.... But she just doesn't understand that! I am unable to get a job and just can't go back to college.. I am hanging in the middle of nothing!

They say Love conquers all but I say it can't conquer Money.. God knows whats gonna happen of me and my family....

Some songs make you feel like your Love is invincible.. I don't understand why Music is so influential.. But I wish I could keep my promises and never had let my wife and son suffer.. But I haven't given up yet...

Daily Update (10)

Can't believe it's been more than a week since I started this blog.. And I feel like I am running out of things to write.. Maybe it would have been easier to post updates if there was something happening out of all this.. But there really isn't..  I have still not received a single dollar in my PayPal and have only had four clicks on the ads, which have gotten me $0.54! That's all there is to show for all this..
"A Million Dollars in 16 Days".. That was my New Year's resolution.. But a week into it, I don't even have $1 to show.. Most of you might think why don't I just get real and get a job right? Well, I tried.. I tried a lot.. And now, I am sick of even trying! I feel that being rejected an awful lot of times really starts to eat one's confidence.. I feel worthless and dejected.. I guess when a man loses everything, he starts dreaming crazy.. That's exactly what I am right now.. More of "Crazy" and a lot of "Dreamer"...

Oh boring me! Anyways.. I mentioned in my previous posts that I really love Music.. A lot of what I am as a person is mostly influenced by the type of music I listen to and the types of movies I like to watch.. I would say that I am not very realistic! ( You should already know that.. hah! ) I am definitely into Love songs and Romantic Comedy for movies.. Love is the most important part of life for me.. I wouldn't want the money if  Love could actually keep us alive.. So, I guess The Eagles got it wrong in that song... But yeah, Love is definitely more important to me than Money...
I like to sing when I am depressed, happy or lonely.. I find it a bit difficult to sing in-front of other people though.. Usually, I sing for my wife.. She was and still is my inspiration, even though she wants to leave me...      ( I love you my wifey... Whatever you do.. )

Let me post a song here that I recently did for my wife.. Sadly, she still doesn't realize how much I need her..
Hope you guys enjoy it... Forgive me if you don't...

Daily Update (9)

Firstly, I want to apologize, since I have not been able to post an update for a few days.. My internet connection at home was not working and it's very difficult to post updates from a mobile phone browser.
There hasn't been any changes in the past four days though.. I just checked my PayPal account and it's still running on the same number... " 0 ".. I guess I have not been able to reach as many people as I should.. But I can't really do much about it.
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Anyways.. My wife informed me today that she is definitely pressing for divorce.. She was asking me for my address here in Nepal, saying that if I don't provide it to the court, she would have to hire a lawyer which she can't afford! Hmmm.... Well, she is the one who wants to leave.. So that is her problem! Every single point in my favor is good!

She blames me for all the hardships she is having to go through.. Maybe she doesn't realize how hard it is to find a job in Singapore, for a foreigner like me.. The day we are divorced, I will kill myself and write a suicide note blaming all on her! Let's see how that feels!

Hell Ya!

In the meantime, I still want to find that one person who could lend me a million dollars.. There is a lot I need to prove to a lot of people.. It's a Do or Die situation.. And I'd rather Do than Die.. Life is a Bitch and Karma sucks! What can I do?

Many people would say, " I wouldn't exchange this life for anything! ".. Well.. I would exchange mine for just a little bit of happiness....